Touch.

How do you react when you get a hug from your parents? Maybe your father, perhaps? I'd be estatic!

The sad truth is, my father is the kind of man whose afraid to show emotion. Alright, maybe afraid isn't the right word but more like weak. Say whatever you want. But men who don't know how to show true emotions, like crying is somewhat weak. He doesn't like to show how he feels. Because he thinks it's a weakness. No, I'm not making an assumption. I wish my father could hug me. The only time I guess he ever showed daughter-to-father physical contact when I was a baby. When he carries me. After that, everything just started dwindling down the drain...

On the other hand, I'm thankful for my mother. It's... something that maybe people will never learn to understand. Even though my mother wasn't around alot, she gave me unconditional love that no one can ever give to me. To me, that's the best gift I can ever recieve from a parent.


Like what they always say, the littlest things matter.

Touch & love.


Yesterday, my mother came over to visit me. Honestly, it's been quite only say a week since she visited me and my sister? But it felt like forever! That's how much I love her. I don't blame my father for not being touchy touchy after all the things his been through but I would actually appreciate if for once he said that he loves me or something. I can't help thinking why he cannot open up. Every one of his birthday passes by, I give him a big sloppy kiss on the cheek & a BIG teddy bear hug. When my birthday comes, nothing but presents and out for dinner.

My mother has been going through alot of things lately and she comes to me and talks to me. She actually TALKS to me. Amazing! Like, thank god for my mother she thinks like a teenager. That only happens when it comes to talk from matters of the heart. Work and being serious? Man, she's a whole other person. But at least I can respect my mother for that. Work & Play! Purr-fect.

Well, completely digressing here. She was talking to her fiance on the phone (actually boyfriend, but I use fiance cause it sounds better and YES! my parents are divorced. COMMON!) and she started giggling and laughing and being just so happy! I smiled to myself while I saw her laughing.

My mom and me were lying in the same bed, my head very near to her bosom and she started making funny faces. I guess he really makes her happy. I started smelling my mother's hand. I love the way she smells. She smells exactly the same way 10 years ago...

Then, she started to do something to me she never did before in years!

She started to caress my hair. Mind you not the kind where just start stroking your daughter's hair randomly. Blast back to the pass, when I was diagnosed with asthama when I was 5, I started to feel pain in my chest. I would call for her. She would lie beside me, start stroking my hair lovingly to tell me everything was alright and I felt safe under her care.

13 years into the future, I get the same feeling. And I actually forgot what it was like to feel my Mother's Touch again. It felt good. Her fingers parting my fringe, pushing back my hair, feeling her fingers against my scalp. She stopped. Then I nudged my mother's hand to stroke my hair again.

She stopped every few minutes and we start caressing my hair. After she hung up, she just looked at me. We didnt say anything for a few minutes. Look of happiness on her face. I just kept a composed face.

(I WAS SQUEALING WITH HAPPINESS INSIDE BECAUSE 1. MY MOM'S HAPPY 2. I'M HAPPY CAUSE SHE'S STROKING MY HAIR! i'm nuts.)

She just continued stroking my hair. :)